There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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