I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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