so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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