dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just googled if crying burns calories
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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