I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
