i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
