Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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