I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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