Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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