At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
