Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
