Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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