What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
