I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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