Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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