I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
