"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
