Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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