my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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