Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
