is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
