Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
