guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just want to make out with him forever
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize