I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
