oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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