Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
