Walk of Shame. In a state park.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
