he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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