I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
