she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just puked most of my soul out..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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