it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
