Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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