Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
