hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
