sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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