a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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