you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
