I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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