we have officially lost it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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