dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
