phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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