y did u give ur computer a hand job?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I did not marry a roomba.
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