"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
