i don't plan on having that self control this summer
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize