We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
