i don't like sucking hair
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
