Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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