Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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