Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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