We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
