You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
