HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
