So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
