yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
