and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
im on a boat
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