Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
