he wants to bone in the snuggie
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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