Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
