I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
