i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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