I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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