dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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