Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
