Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
