You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
